Date:	2008-08-26 13:17
Subject:	Letter from an Admired.
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished

 Thanks for visiting me last night.  I saw you in the window peaking in on me.  What a surprise!  I was bashful at first, so I brought a friend with me in hopes that we could talk in comfort.  To be honest...and I mean no offense...you were so loud to begin with!  Annoyingly so.  But after we were all properly introduced, everything went so smoothly.  You and I, laying arm in arm, that expression of quiet peace on your face the entire evening.  We must have talked for hours!  We even watched the sun come up together.  You were more quiet then...solemn I guess.  But it was marvelous!  So sorry for leaving so quickly when I took you home...I was afraid your parents would question our midnight dalliance.  But in time they will come to understand, I'm sure.  Just like you did.  Covered in love all over and between. :-)

P.S.  I will kill again.  I don't think there is anything that can stop me now...

Date:	2008-06-21 00:38
Subject:	Spicy Chicken + Ranch = Delicious
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

WHO WANTS TO SHARE VOMIT AND DO THE BACK AND FORTH FOR A LITTLE WHILE?!?  I WILL BRING SUNGLASSES FOR YOU TO WEAR TO SHIELD YOUR HUMAN EYES FROM THE BILE!!  YAAHAR!

I wish my dreams were more than just dalliances.  I want to crawl inside my head and shut the door. :-)

Date:	2008-06-01 14:38
Subject:	About Therapeutic Experiences.
Security:	Public
Mood:	weird

Some should live...most should die.  Give me a few months.  Don't worry.  I will make the right decisions! :-)

-MITM

Date:	2007-09-10 09:53
Subject:	Brain Therapy.
Security:	Public
Mood:	determined

 Yanked from MySpace.  Called "Collided".

Unraveled threads of brain space weaving into new evolutions of thought careening constantly uncontrolled into fear the mind tries to commit its little suicides waiting to wake sleep wake sleep remain scattered dusting sallow window panes of houses peered into but never entered dilapidated by neglect crushed by sorrow torn from histories to be forgotten then remembered by a baby only to wake up screaming from sweet baby dreams pulling apart the head at the seams leaking all thought to be sucked up by reality spongy scraped across canvas like a tool for the endless deluded by GOD into believing that it has meaning to keep going broken unidirectional cant submerged caustic bleeding neck suffocated by fate constantly sucking for air pulling in fire to burn the insides until nothing remains but a blank page for the amnesiac to write his or her or OUR memoirs.  

ADDING!

Tired.  Seeking answers.  Desperately seeking truth.  Heard she left this place a long time ago.  Tell her I need her now.  Yours truly, MITM.

"Our only response was to keep on going and fuck everything. Pile misery upon misery, heap it up on a spoon and dissolve it with a drop of bile, then squirt it into a stinking purulent vein and do it all over again. Keep on going: getting up, going out, robbing, stealing, fucking people over, propelling ourselves with longing towards the day it would all go wrong."- Rents

Date:	2007-05-19 08:52
Subject:	:-)
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

We're going to Comic-Con!!!!!  Just bought tickets!!!  Fuck YES!!!

Date:	2007-04-30 22:00
Subject:	A Conversation I Had Today...or...Why I Love My Dad.
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

Me:  What if gold fish crackers were made of the ground up remains of goldfish, mixed with good memories stolen from children?
Dad:  That sounds good...
pause
Dad:  Those would go great in soup!
Me:  With broth made from the tears of dying babies!

...oh yeah.  I saw Andrew Bird today.  I was twenty feet away from him in Amoeba Records...and he was playing a free show.  It was good.  You suck if you missed it and like Andrew Bird.

=out.

Date:	2007-04-15 00:41
Subject:	LADY YOU SAID LADY!!! LADY YOU SAID!!! ...I LIKE CANDY.
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

I want fishy crackers party.  Yes.

Side-project forgettable...scattered lyrics screaming across the walls down to the floor outside to be forgotten by new audiences...listless.  Too many suitors and not enough time.  Bored again with the same old shit.  Can't find a new kick.  Old kicks they don't work no more.  New kick better be nothing short of knocking out the spine.  Girl why the string?  Liar tellin' tales made you think man is a big old bear.   Instead of man being scared convulsing dying puking fly.  Scum.  Thanks to all scum always surrounding.  Scum gets in the cracks.  Scum waits for guards to be removed barrelling through obstacles heedless and headless but thinking with the only head scum got.  When with the trust?  Who pulled off the wings?  Timing always bad.  Watch the past smiling.  Watch the present slipping by into memory.  Was it enjoyed?  Was it despised?  Can it remember?  It is needing dive headlong into pool of glass shards broken id images.  It is wanting you.  It misses you something terrible.

Regret.

Date:	2007-03-09 20:18
Subject:	So It Is.
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished

Creep into the safest places,
Maybe different, maybe new, maybe indifferent.
Find riches within the lotus,
Hold them for a moment,
And give them to all you know.
Drink deep of healing waters,
And peacefully meditate on suchness, nothingness,
Anything that comes to mind placed back outside of mind
To look in on itself, decide its importance independently.
All coalescing, breeding, breathing, loving, departing,
One thing is shared,
And it is enough for all things.

We're waiting for the smoke to clear.
We knew it wouldn't any time soon, but we had provision enough for at least another two, maybe three days of heavy combat.  Although, it doesn't sit well with any of us that we were supposed to reach rally about a week back.  Infantry is a euphemism for, "sit here a while until you get killed or run out of food and die."
The telltale three beeps followed by the effeminate voice indicated that another soldier hadlost power to his armor.  
"Johnson, get yourself a manual check on vitals.  Recharge and reestablish link ASAP."  That was Sergeant.  His unblemished face had a stony quality to it.  In fact, considering the man's tenure as a soldier, it didn't quite fit for his body to show so little wear and tear.  This was in part due to very expensive plastic surgury coupled with more expensive cybernetic replacement.  It was also due to his steadfast commitment to protocol.  The man ran a tight ship.
Johnson, a PFC, was seen to by the squad medic.
"Vitals normal.  Whaddya know, he's still alive?"  This came from Smith, the team's skilled medical officer.  He was in a contest with Sarge, inserting his comedy in equal doses to Sarge's seriousness.  They tolerated one another, but not much beyond that.
"Smith, get the damn connection back up," barked Sarge.  "Those satellite med feeds are my superiors' eyes and ears on the status of my squad.  And I'm not in the mood for bullshit." 
"On it, sir."
Smith mumbled something to himself about years of battlefield medicine and reporting working just fine without constant wireless support.  
I turned my attention away to the digital display on my rifle.  Despite what they tell you in training, squad sniper offers often little more safety than the rest of the team, and frequently points you as the next best target to the C.O..  My weapon ensured my safety above all else.  I took better care of it than myself.
The display read that I had a full stock of jacketed micro-explosive rounds.  These babies ensured a quick and clean kill, and when outfitted with the special noise-dampening tech my rifle possessed, they were more silent than the whistle of an arrow.  Though, this meant that any kind of fuck-up was all on me.  
I gave a quick inspection of the barrell, my spare mags, and took a look down the sight.  The scope offered auto-correction for distance, wind and any obstacles that might have been in the way.  With the high velocity rounds, this death machine was millimeters accurate up to a distance of five miles.  Within a mile it could bypass lower end tank armor, but that was only in a pinch.

Thinking more on this...to be continued.

Date:	2007-01-30 22:05
Subject:	HEART!
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy

Haha!  Try before you buy!  Is good!  You likea da fried baby?!  OKAY!!!!!!1!!!

Date:	2007-01-12 10:46
Subject:	Impotent.
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused

Broken images scattered across a rented bed. Simulacra juxtaposed as such to create a breeding ground for conflict and the inevitable resolution.  Infused in layers of mind, memory is no magic, and if it is, it can be the only magic, and if not, it is all that stays to keep a body from falling into the chaotic miasma of pure hedonism.  Sadly, no comfort.  Gladly, motivation.  Confused, the burning starts in the stomach, moves to the heart and lungs, takes the legs from under you, sinking into your own addiction to yourself, who you may be, and who you might have been.

Who are you?  Who will you be?  Who were you?

New mission. Find medium between malice and mercy. Acceptable to lean more toward malice.

In 2007, grosselfimport resolves to...

Get back in contact with some old lies.
Lose ten pidgeons by March.
Overcome my secret fear of dollyrots.
Spend more time with my horrible shows.
Connect with my inner ireland.
Go peeing three times a week.

Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

Date:	2006-12-23 01:34
Subject:	Scattered
Security:	Public
Mood:	restless

I've several hundred scattered moments I'd like to buy back. I was humored, at first, to watch memories coalesce into mockeries then further into bitterness. Now I'm tired. I have turned out my pockets to watch cliche moths fly from my threadbare pants. It came to so much lost, then calculating out the gains in a fanciful utilitarian method, only to see the worst of disappointment was more known to me than anyone else could be. Calmly, I replayed the times good and times bad and to be completely honest, I've taken them both pretty well. But moments I wish I had fewer of in exchange for a fleeting soul I've given away at any and all possible moments [stupid me]. Maybe I need to collapse...maybe explode...maybe expire...some kind of change is on the way. One with fewer moments in between the actual happening.

Try to get some rest,
count backward from ten.

You've gone too long without sleep
I know you can't rest stressed, so give up.
Don't say no to pills,
Ativin won't kill.

You said, 'My life's like a bad movie,'
I said, 'That's not true of all us.'

You said, 'I've got to wake up so fucking early,'
I said, 'Maybe the director's turned on us.'

Outside the 5 sounds like the ocean,
relax, don't keep your eyes open,
don't look at the clock,
your brain will never stop.

Don't say no to pills,
Ativin won't kill.

Date:	2006-12-15 02:25
Subject:	Unfortunate
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold

Damnable detriment, I am the vomit you slipped on. You died before you turned 21. It was a mixed blessing.

Date:	2006-12-10 20:11
Subject:	WAHAHHA!
Security:	Public
Mood:	ditzy

I AM TEN THOUSAND INTERNETS.
IS IT NOT SO?
FORTY BILLION MONIES WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO THE FOLLOWING FISH BANK ACCOUNT:
Weeyom.
UNLESS THIS IS SO DOING, MILLIONS OF DEATH AM IMMINENT!
IS IT NOT SO?!
BUY ME OFF OR YOU ARE DEATH!

DO IT NOW.

p.s. I don't know if that's a valid bank account...maybe it's a valid fish bank account...I need to do some more research. But the internet is mine. You have been warned.